RDI® Isn’t Just Another Acronym

Last month I shared a large number of Autistic acronyms. One of the acronyms, RDI ®, may or may not be familiar to you.  Relationship Development Intervention was first developed by Steven E. Gutstein, Ph.D. and his wife, Dr. Rachelle Sheely, in 1996. They were determined to clarify learning problems associated with Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and to provide possible solutions through a program that teaches people with Autism how to embrace their “Dynamic Intelligence.”

While these great tools sounded ideal, felt ideal and even looked ideal, reality is still reality. I didn’t know how or where to start. Was this program unattainable?

When I met with Dr. Stacy Goresko, Ph. D. and RDI ® Program Certified Consultant, I had an agenda: to learn as much about RDI ® as I could in a short period of time. Thankfully, she was a wealth of information! And, of course, with details like this, how could I not share?

Our conversation began with me asking about RDI ® and went like this, “Dr. Goresko, what, exactly, is Relationship Development Intervention?”

“Very simply put, RDI ® is a parent or adult-based consultant model approach treatment of Autism. Certified consultants teach parents or adults without Autism how to be effective “guides” for their children on the spectrum. The research in development psychology teaches us that children learn how to be in the world (how to think, act, behave and not behave) through their infinite amount of reciprocal interactions with their caregivers.

When a baby or child has an ASD, the natural venue of the caregiver engagement is interrupted. Children with ASD generally do not naturally gravitate towards their parents as their guides, rather, they tend to rely on their own way of “static” thinking to try and figure out their world of objects and people. This leads to more static, rigid thinking.”

“So, is RDI ® focused on teaching the parents first and the children second? How does this work?” It made sense to me that I needed to be “trained” first. After all, how could I teach my son something that I didn’t understand?

Dr. Goresko explained, “This program makes sense from a theoretical point of view as well as a practical point of view because it gives parents an opportunity to parent their child with ASD with skills and confidence.”

I have to admit, this was sounding good. In order for our family to have harmony it was going to take the concerted efforts from everyone. I asked her to further explain.

“RDI ® provides the framework for parents to regain their confidence and to feel empowered through training that supports the parents, teachers and other family members. RDI ® isn’t designed to “fix” a child, but rather to give them the skills they need to interact more meaningfully and effectively with others.”

Although I was following along I needed further clarification of what she meant by “meaningfully and effectively.”

“Meaningfully and effectively refers to the way RDI ® teaches people with Autism how to live in the real world where things are changing all the time and where there is the need to think on your feet in a black and white world. This program is, by no means, an easy task, nor was it meant to be. Families who choose to engage with an RDI ® program need to realize that it is not a sprint but, rather, a marathon. In order to make real change, there is a commitment involved because success won’t happen overnight. At the same time, families will recognize that small steps are precious gifts.”

She continued with, “RDI ® is a method that teaches the adult to guide to establish a more “normal” relationship by taking on the role of guide. My job, as a certified RDI ® Consultant, is to work with those parents or adults and teach them how they can guide their child through various means of communication — to a place where the child will want to reference that adult and look to them for guidance. Their world, once very narrow and confined, now becomes more open and more flexible as they learn how to relate to their guide(s) in a way that increases their confidence and capacity. They become able to make new and safe discoveries for themselves that would not have been possible without the help of the guide.

In other words, RDI ® works on establishing a healthy parent / child relationship that makes both responsible for the interaction. The outcome is very powerful for everyone. Parents fell empowered, often for the first time since receiving the diagnosis, and the child learns how to become a more independent, competent partner, thinker and problem solver.”

“Wow,” I thought out loud. “This sounds like a social skills training program.”

“No, not at all,” she responded, “I think this is where there is a lot of confusion. People think that social skills programs teach social skills. If fact, they don’t. Social skills programs teach “social rules” for communication. For example, a social rule might be, “When you meet someone for the first time, look them in the eyes and say ‘hello.’ While this might be helpful to some people on the spectrum, learning – or rather – memorizing social rules will only take a person so far. The problem is that, in the real world, communication rules are always broken because real life if too dynamic or “messy.” In RDI ®, we teach the foundations of communication that you can’t learn in the classroom but can only learn in real life with real people in real circumstance. It’s all the stuff that comes before verbal language emerges. It’s all the social-emotional and cognitive development that typically happens between the ages of birth to three years of age. People with Autism don’t have these necessary foundations to even begin to comprehend how reciprocal relationships work. RDI ® provides those foundations.”

My mind was racing with ideas and concerns, as well. “My son is nearly ten. It sounds like this program is designed for younger children. Are we discovering RDI ® too late?” I wondered.

“No, it is never too late to pursue changes that will lead to a better quality of life. RDI ® provides the roadmap for this and is for people of all ages. People with any form of Autism can benefit from this program. I have seen people with pretty significant Autism make great strides in how they relate to their parents or guides. Whereas, once there was little or no connection, parents feel that their relationships have improved significantly, especially when it comes to being able to connect emotionally with their child for the first time.

For individuals with AFA, Asperger’s and PDD-NOS, the changes can be quite dramatic. Time and time again, I see children who come to me so rigid in their thoughts and actions. With RDI ® they begin to bloom again. They learn to trust their guides as a way to learn about their world and begin to reference them for the first time in their lives. This opens the door to a whole new way of perceiving their world and themselves. They now begin to understand that there is a “me,” and “you” and an “us.” This lays the foundation for reciprocal relationship to take place. No longer is there a need to control their environment. They feel safe and competent for the first time. It’s really amazing to see this firsthand.”

“Firsthand,” I knew, began with her own son. Dr. Goresko gave up her career as a speech therapist and teacher to become an RDI ® Certified Consultant.

“RDI ® is designed to teach parents how to parent their child on the spectrum. I was teaching him speech and working with him in many areas. RDI ® filled in the missing gap.”

“What do I do now?” I had to ask. There had to be a first step.

“Read the RDI Book by Dr. Gutstein, sign up for my newsletter and tips and then get ready to call in to my free ‘Ask Dr. Stacy’ program to learn even more.”

Since meeting with Dr. Goresko, I have begun reading The RDI Book. This is really an amazing book that, I hear, is selling like hot cakes. I’m learning more about the many “Dynamics” in this well-written book. It’s a magical thing to learn something so powerful. By-the-way, I also signed up for Dr. Goresko’s Autism free Autism fact sheets. You can, too, right here: http://Help-Autism.com