Few Things More Rewarding
There are few things more rewarding than being able to change someone’s life for the better. It’s even more gratifying when your work can help an entire family. The weekend of July 11th, 2009 I was fortunate enough to have the most profoundly rewarding experience of my career while turning skeptics into believers.
If you’ve been following my articles, you’re already familiar with my passion, and the focus of my business, With a Brush of Love. It is our mission to make a significant impact upon the lives of children with special needs and their families by creating unique environments that support their specific needs. Something I try to do with each project is to inform the parents, family members, and sometimes teachers and counselors, that children take time to acclimate to their new environments. It’s difficult to predict how long it will take for the benefits to be realized. It can take as long as several months, or as little as a few days. Once in awhile, however, something extraordinary occurs. That’s what happened last week, and I want to share the exciting and uplifting experience of the Davis family with you.
I just returned from US military base, Camp Foster in Okinawa, Japan. I was fortunate enough to have been invited to give a seminar for parents on design techniques for special needs children. As part of the presentation, I was asked to redesign the bedroom of a 2yr old boy named Merrick who was just recently diagnosed with autism. His parents are Marine Sgt. Garey Davis and his wife Kristen.
As one would guess, we conversed for quite some time, discussing various concerns and challenges the Davis’s faced daily. I learned what their primary goals for Merrick were, as well as their goals for their family as a whole. As they explained their concerns as well as Merrick’s challenges, we developed a strategy and design for his needs while adhering to the constraints of their home on the military base. One key factor was accommodating the need to replicate the design in another home when they need to dismantle and relocate, as military families so often must.
Upon arriving in Okinawa and finally meeting the Davis family face to face, their stress and concern were clearly visible. Neither of them had been able to sleep consistently over the past several weeks due to Merrick’s restlessness. To make matters worse, Mommy was pregnant and was beginning to show, and they were planning on moving Merrick into a larger bedroom. The anxiety was taking a toll on all of them, and perhaps worse, affecting their relationship.
Merrick is only two and is a somewhat outgoing toddler with very little verbal communication. He does respond to some sign language and clearly understands everything that’s being said to him. He has exceptional fine motor skills. While he will respond to affection from loved ones, he rarely initiates it. He tries earnestly to express himself; he tightens his fists gasping with excitement and smiles when he’s feeling happy, and scrunches up his face when he’s feeling frustrated. He’s not the least bit shy. By all accounts, Merrick is an incredibly expressive, exuberant and loving boy. He’s presently unable to verbally communicate and socially interact like many other toddlers.
What I explained to Garey and Kristen was that his issues, his inability to sleep soundly and unpredictable agitation, were exacerbated by his surroundings. Our goal was to change that. The design process was complicated by the fact that Merrick and his family live in Okinawa, while I reside in Los Angeles. Interaction with the child and the family is an important part of what I do. We had to do the best we could with telephone and email interaction. The process was further complicated by the fact that almost nothing we would need was available in Okinawa. We had to acquire furniture, paint, window treatments, bedding, a rug, and even lamps here in the U.S. and ship it all overseas. Last but not least, we had to deal with the fact that we would only have two days in which to do all the work. However, with many hours of conversations and dozens of emails, we were able to communicate thoroughly about Merrick and come up with a plan of attack. With the help of numerous volunteers on the base and some fabulous representatives from the military’s Exceptional Families Member Program, anything was now possible.
Re-designing a space is not unlike putting together a puzzle. Every aspect of the room, from color to lighting, window treatments, bedding, furniture, plants, rugs, pillows (all the accessories) even sounds and scents must work together to form a complete picture. When everything is right, you can make a substantial difference for the child. The challenge is determining what the final picture should be. The child’s needs are the only guide we have, and those needs aren’t always as clear as one might think. In Merrick’s case, his parents were able to observe and understand his behavior and reactions very well, which made it much easier to design.
Through meticulous advance planning and a valiant effort from all involved, we painted Merrick’s new room with a soothing shade of zero VOC paint, added a black wood bunk bed, a rug to help absorb sound, dimmable lamps to control light, window treatments and various other touches. We included his favorite chair for comfort and familiarity. (the description of each item and why they were selected are rather extensive but can be seen in the next few weeks on my website www.brushoflove.com)
When Merrick entered his new room for the first time, he immediately walked to the middle of his rug, jumped up and down; and turned in circles clapping continually and smiling incessantly. He then jumped into his new bunk bed and got right under the covers. This was extraordinary because according to his mother, he had never gotten into bed of his own accord and hated anything that covered him. He then got out of the bed, ran over to both mommy and daddy separately jumping into their arms hugging and kissing them, something else he apparently had never initiated on his own before. He leapt onto his favorite chair dangling his legs across the arm, brought his prize truck into his bedroom (rather than his former bedroom which was now a playroom) and happily settled right into his normal playing routine. He lay down on the new rug and moved his legs and arms back and forth exploring how it felt. He jumped back into his bed, putting his hands behind his head, sprawling out under his unfamiliar covers , holding the comforter next to his ears enjoying the sounds it made beneath his new duvet. Then he jumped back into his parents’ arms, hugging and kissing them again. It was almost like he understood what they had done for him and what it meant, and that he was desperate for them to know how thankful and relieved he was.
I must admit, while I was thrilled, I was a little concerned that this reaction might not last. It’s not always typical for a child to respond so quickly and be so unusually demonstrative. However, in the two weeks since I’ve been home, Kristen and Garey have reported that Merrick’s response to his room and the shift in his behavior has not waned but rather continued and even improved. He now sleeps through the whole night. In the morning, when they wake him, he is calm and peaceful, whereas in the past he woke grumpy and anxiety ridden. Kristen told me, “It was like he was on medication; he was so much calmer and loving towards us – so much easier to deal with on all levels. We never realized how much stress we were under or the amount of sleep we had lost.” For the last few nights, Kristen and Garey have had alone time to talk and simply lie in bed together without Merrick waking up and becoming overly agitated and anxious. They were shocked not only by the difference in their son, but by how they felt themselves in his new bedroom.
The entire experience was a true honor for me and my company. I felt compelled to share this wonderful and uplifting experience, hoping that if your situation is similar to that of Kristen and Garey, perhaps you can feel empowered to make a positive change. While the speed of Merrick’s immediate response may not be typical, his general reaction is indicative of the importance of a healthy, supportive environment for a special needs child. Remember, whatever changes you make, always begin With a Brush of Love!
© Lauren Henry
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